The Divine Lamp

Yup, that’s a statue of Our Lord and Savior built out of Legos and unveiled on Easter Sunday in a Protestant Church in Stockholm (source).  I was able to get some other pictures of the church and congregation:

After a couple of weeks of rather bitter temperatures it hit a sultry 25 degrees Fahrenheit today, and man! I am sweltering!. But I’m not complaining, rather, I took advantage of our Indian Summer to hit the beach. (I took the above photo a few weeks before Christmas. It is of one of the trees in front of our Parish convent/school. Click on to enlarge)

Make the beginning of this song the ring tone for your cell phone.

Take out a student loan and attend THIS UNIVERSITY.

Rob has asked me if I intend on voting in the 2012 elections.  This got me thinking about the future.

By 2012 I plan to have my own political action group functioning.  We’ll call ourselves AHOLES and we’ll get people (both living and dead) to register and vote for all candidates.  We think the “One party wins the White House” system of government quite wrong.  As in T-Ball, where everybody wins and gets a trophy, so too in politics, every party should get a piece of the White House.

Of course, if we are successful, we can no longer call it the White House, because, in fact, it will be a condominium.  And we certainly can’t call it the “White” Condominium, that would raise objections from certain ethnic and sexual groups: What’s wrong with black? what’s wrong with pink?

Painting it neutral gray is out of the question.  Some people think gray is an attempt to “white out” black.  Also, my experience tells me that white heterosexuals are less sensitive about the color of house paint than other people; but there are the pasty-faced whites who are an exception.  You know, the ones with the shaved heads and Nazi tattoos.  They think gray is an attempt to “black out” white.

I suppose we could tell the blacks and whites that these two “colors” aren’t really colors at all, rather, they are the negation of color (as I learned in first grade art class).  Unfortunately, this would leave the pasty-faced whites scratching their skin-heads wondering what this means; and the blacks, along with open-minded whites (i.e., democrats) would just hire Jesse Jackson to denounce us AHOLES as racists who are insinuating that blacks are non-entities.

We at AHOLE would be forced to point out that if such an accusation were true, it would mean that we were also declaring that whites are non-entities.  Seizing upon this, the pasty-faced skin-heads will likewise accuse us of being anti-white racists, thereby showing that when it comes to race issues, they can be just as open-minded as any Massachusetts Democrat.

I suppose that for the sake of harmony we could just pretend that black and white are colors, and then  paint the structure at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue with all the colors in the new spectrum; but this would just piss off the color blind.

Needless to say, blogging will be light over the next for years as I attempt to work out these problems.

A Baptist preacher on youTube offers his take on the Old testament phrase “One who pisseth against the wall.”

In fact, the term has a pejorative meaning, and all the Biblical uses threaten impending death. In the Middle East in ancient times it was considered immodest to urinate standing up; one crouched or sat in order to conceal oneself. The term originally denoted young boys who, precisely because they were young lacked a sense of modesty. When used in reference to adult men it always had negative connotations.

Let this be a lesson to you; avoid fundamentalist preachers:

We have the more sure word of prophecy; and you do well that you heed it, as to a lamp shining in a dark place, until the day dawns, and the morning star arises in your hearts: cb(1,20); 1:20 knowing this first, that no prophecy of Scripture is of private interpretation….But false prophets also arose among the people, as false teachers will also be among you, who will secretly bring in destructive heresies, denying even the Master who bought them, bringing on themselves swift destruction…forsaking the right way, they went astray, having followed the way of Balaam the son of Beor, who loved the wages of wrongdoing; cb(2,16); 2:16 but he was rebuked for his own disobedience. A mute donkey spoke with a man’s voice and stopped the madness of the prophet… In those (i.e., St Paul’s writings), there are some things that are hard to understand, which the ignorant and unsettled twist, as they also do to the other Scriptures, to their own destruction. (see 2 Peter)

So, remember to sit down. The life you save could be your own. Especially if there are women in the house. H/T Canterbury Tales

My sister sent me this via email:

Well, Girl Potato and Boy Potato had eyes for each other,

and finally they got married, and had a little sweet potato,

which they called ‘Yam.’

Of course, they wanted the best for Yam.
When it was time, they told her about the facts of life.

They warned her about going out and getting half-baked,

 so she wouldn’t get accidentally mashed,

and get a bad name for herself like ‘Hot Potato,’

and end-up with a bunch of Tater Tots.

Yam said not to worry;

no Spud would get her into the sack and make a rotten potato out of her!

But on the other hand she wouldn’t stay home and become a Couch Potato either.

She would get plenty of exercise so as not to be skinny like her Shoestring cousins.

When she went off to Europe.  Mr. and Mrs. Potato told Yam to watch out for the hard-boiled guys from Ireland.  And the greasy guys from France called French Fries.  And when she went out west, to watch out for the Indians so she wouldn’t get scalloped.

Yam said she would stay on the straight and narrow

and wouldn’t associate with those high class Yukon Gold’s,

or the ones from the other side of the tracks who advertise

their trade on all the trucks that say, ‘Frito Lay.’

Mr. and Mrs. Potato sent Yam to Idaho P.U. (that’s Potato University)

So that when she graduated she’d really be the chips

But in spite of all they did for her,

one-day Yam came home and announced she was going to marry Tom Brokaw.

Tom Brokaw!

Mr. and Mrs. Potato were very upset.
They told Yam she couldn’t possibly marry Tom Brokaw

because he’s just…

are you ready for this?

A COMMONTATER…

We here at THE DIVINE LAMP have learned that the “scholar” who recently claimed that Moses was more a dope fiend than a prophet is set to release a CD of music based upon his findings. This is the claim made by THE HOLY ROLLERS STONED, a magazine well respected by mushroom-dropping researches engaged in religious studies.

According to the magazine-a periodical which is produced only when the editor’s mother makes him get out of his bedroom and do something with his life-Benny Shanon, who recently claimed that the prophetic visions of Moses and the prophets were the result of taking hallucinogenics, will release a CD on the subject. Benny, who is currently the Timothy Leary Lecturer at UC-Berkley’s Chemically Induced Scientific Research Center, is also lead guitarist and stash-keeper for the band Pontius Pilate and the Nail Driving Five. The band is known for its retro-60’s psychedelic sound and its interest in debunking religion. Other members include zoologist and drummer Dickie Dawkins; the band’s front-man is thespian/lesbian and pseudo-comic Rosie O’Donnell; the mock Archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams is on synthesizer; sci-fi director James Cameron, who is well known for tooting his own horn, is on saxophone; and Philip Pullman, an author of novels for atheist children is the bands pied piper. The band recently made headlines by firing its long-time bassist, but as Benny Shanon explained, “My chemical thinking really put me off bass.”

Shanon was reluctant to get into further details about the CD but we here at THE DIVINE LAMP were able to score the opening lyrics for one of the songs, entitled “White Rabbi”

One pill makes you larger
And one pill makes you small
And the ones that Rabbi gives you
Are the very best of all
Just ask Moses
About when he got called.

Some other songs on the CD, all written by Pullman, include: ST LUCY IN THE SKY WITH ZIRCONIUM DIAMONDS; INCENSE AND EXPERIMENTS; IF YOU’RE GOING TO MOUNT SINAI (put flowers in your hair). In addition, the band covers two classics: JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE MIND, made famous by The Amboy Dukes; and IMAGINE, by John Lennon.
Posted by Dim Bulb. Check out MY OTHER SITE.

Some “scholar” is claiming that Moses’ visions were the result of drug induced hallucinations.  He apparently is an authority, having gotten high himself a couple of times.  HERE is the link.  And HERE is the comment I left.