Apr 29 2008

Where is Balaam’s jackass when you need him?

Published by Dim Bulb at 4:13 pm under humor, stupid

A Baptist preacher on youTube offers his take on the Old testament phrase “One who pisseth against the wall.”

In fact, the term has a pejorative meaning, and all the Biblical uses threaten impending death. In the Middle East in ancient times it was considered immodest to urinate standing up; one crouched or sat in order to conceal oneself. The term originally denoted young boys who, precisely because they were young lacked a sense of modesty. When used in reference to adult men it always had negative connotations.

Let this be a lesson to you; avoid fundamentalist preachers:

We have the more sure word of prophecy; and you do well that you heed it, as to a lamp shining in a dark place, until the day dawns, and the morning star arises in your hearts: cb(1,20); 1:20 knowing this first, that no prophecy of Scripture is of private interpretation….But false prophets also arose among the people, as false teachers will also be among you, who will secretly bring in destructive heresies, denying even the Master who bought them, bringing on themselves swift destruction…forsaking the right way, they went astray, having followed the way of Balaam the son of Beor, who loved the wages of wrongdoing; cb(2,16); 2:16 but he was rebuked for his own disobedience. A mute donkey spoke with a man’s voice and stopped the madness of the prophet… In those (i.e., St Paul’s writings), there are some things that are hard to understand, which the ignorant and unsettled twist, as they also do to the other Scriptures, to their own destruction. (see 2 Peter)

So, remember to sit down. The life you save could be your own. Especially if there are women in the house. H/T Canterbury Tales

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4 responses so far

4 Responses to “Where is Balaam’s jackass when you need him?”

  1. Daniel Coonon 29 Apr 2008 at 5:27 pm

    Oh please tell me this guy was just joking.

  2. thedivinelampon 29 Apr 2008 at 5:31 pm

    I would hope so. I did not check to see if he had other videos up.

    On the other hand, some of the things preachers rant about can be quite absurd

  3. thedivinelampon 29 Apr 2008 at 6:50 pm

    I checked other videos and apparently his guy is no comic. In one of the videos I checked out he was ranting against the NIV in favor of the KJV and comparing the translations. He noted that in John 18:1 the KJV says “When Jesus had spoken these words…”; but the NIV says “when Jesus finished praying…” The guy harped upon the fact that the term “word” was replaced by “praying.”

    In fact, in the Textus Receptus on which the KJV is based, the Greek simply reads “Iesous epo tauta”-Jesus finished these things. Inasmuch as Jesus has justed finished His prayer to his Father the NIV version is more correct. This guy may harp about the Greek text but he doesn’t know it, apparently.

  4. Daniel Coonon 29 Apr 2008 at 11:06 pm

    I have met plenty of fundamentalists who swear the King James Bible fell down from heaven itself. Yeesh.

    All praise and thanks to God for leading me to the Catholic Church!

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