The Divine Lamp

We here at THE DIVINE LAMP have learned that the “scholar” who recently claimed that Moses was more a dope fiend than a prophet is set to release a CD of music based upon his findings. This is the claim made by THE HOLY ROLLERS STONED, a magazine well respected by mushroom-dropping researches engaged in religious studies.

According to the magazine-a periodical which is produced only when the editor’s mother makes him get out of his bedroom and do something with his life-Benny Shanon, who recently claimed that the prophetic visions of Moses and the prophets were the result of taking hallucinogenics, will release a CD on the subject. Benny, who is currently the Timothy Leary Lecturer at UC-Berkley’s Chemically Induced Scientific Research Center, is also lead guitarist and stash-keeper for the band Pontius Pilate and the Nail Driving Five. The band is known for its retro-60’s psychedelic sound and its interest in debunking religion. Other members include zoologist and drummer Dickie Dawkins; the band’s front-man is thespian/lesbian and pseudo-comic Rosie O’Donnell; the mock Archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams is on synthesizer; sci-fi director James Cameron, who is well known for tooting his own horn, is on saxophone; and Philip Pullman, an author of novels for atheist children is the bands pied piper. The band recently made headlines by firing its long-time bassist, but as Benny Shanon explained, “My chemical thinking really put me off bass.”

Shanon was reluctant to get into further details about the CD but we here at THE DIVINE LAMP were able to score the opening lyrics for one of the songs, entitled “White Rabbi”

One pill makes you larger
And one pill makes you small
And the ones that Rabbi gives you
Are the very best of all
Just ask Moses
About when he got called.

Some other songs on the CD, all written by Pullman, include: ST LUCY IN THE SKY WITH ZIRCONIUM DIAMONDS; INCENSE AND EXPERIMENTS; IF YOU’RE GOING TO MOUNT SINAI (put flowers in your hair). In addition, the band covers two classics: JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE MIND, made famous by The Amboy Dukes; and IMAGINE, by John Lennon.
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