The Divine Lamp

B.L.: Good morning and welcome to the Outer Darkness Radio Show here on WHEL, six point sixty-six on your FM dial. I’m your host B.L. Zebub. Here in the studio with me is my producer, whom you all know and love, Mister Judas Iscariot. Hello, Judie. How ya hangin’?

Judas: Not funny, BL.

BL: Sorry! I just couldn’t resist. Bah-dah-bing! Listen, we got a great show for our listeners today. First up is the big dog himself.

Judas: Really?

BL: That’s right. The Master of Machinations; the Maestro of Malignancy; the Emperor of the Inferno; the Sultan of Sulfur; the Lord of the Fourth Estate; He who holds the Kingdom of Death; the real Speaker of the House; the Ringmaster of the Ninth Circus Court of Appeals; the huge Dragon; the Ancient Serpent who is called the Devil and the Adversary; the Beast who put the bad in Abaddon; the one; the only; the incomparable; the unconscionable; Lucifer Satanus!

Satan: Dear me! thank you for that wonderful introduction.

BL: Certainly. Now, your infernalness, I know your time is short so lets get right down to business. You’re here to talk about your latest plan to undermine the Roman Catholic Church.

Satan: Yes. I call it “Operation Pimp a Priestess,” and I’m quite proud of it. Basically it’s a rehashing and refinement of my deception of Eve.

BL: What does Eve have to do with the priestess movement?

Satan: When what’s His name created the world He created it as a temple. And when He created that filthy thing called Adam He gave him priestly duties in that temple; He told the filthy thing to “guard and keep” the garden, which was sort of a Holy Place. I must give the human priest his due; he did guard and keep it and all within it admirably-that is until I showed up.

BL: Rather than go at the priest directly you went at him through the woman.

Satan: It was very subtle and very effective. Unfortunately, my time grows short, so the time for subtleties is over.

BL: What is your plan now?

Satan: As you noted in that wonderful introduction you gave me, I am Lord of the Fourth Estate…

BL: For all you dim bulbs out there, that means the secular media.
Satan: …Yes! My servants on that estate are some of my most trusted minions, as you know. I have engaged them in a campaign of disinformation and deceit against What’s His Name and his allies. By using the press I lose something of the up close and personal touch I enjoy but the end result is the same; souls taken from What’s His Name.

BL: Can you give us some details?

To be continued (maybe)

Posted by Dim Bulb